Beginners Guide to Dating in P Town

So in case you didn't know... Provo is statistically one of the top dating towns in America. (did you know that 60% of statistics are made up on the spot? go figure) There is a science to this so called "P Town" dating. Its more complicated than you might think, and it goes a little something like this...

1. The meet cute. When two people meet for the first time and find some common ground/interest. If the boy is interested we move to step 2.

2. Guy calls girl and and asks her for a group/double date on the weekend. There is some minimal mid week texting involved until they go on the date. Then of course there is the always forever awkward post date hug. Which leads to the next step...

3. The PDT. PDT= Post Date Text (creatively acronymed by my awesome roommate Liz). If the guy really likes the girl he'll text her as soon as the date is over. He'll usually say something like... I had a great time! Thanks! You looked really pretty tonight.... ( multiple girls have gotten this exact same text which shows its a universal male PDT)... which I always find interesting since they were the one who paid for me and I should be thanking them but whatevs I guess. Oh and ps. if you thought I looked pretty you should've told me in person you would've scored big time brownie points! And made the girl blush to boot. If the girl really likes the guy she'll beat him to the PDT. And if she isn't into the guy she probably won't even send one. But don't worry fellas, she may just be unaware of the PDT, so don't loose all hope. For all of you who dated before texting was a big thing, you're probably thinking this sounds ridiculous... but no this is really just how it is.

4. If both parties are interested they'll get together for a small date (aka a walk, frozen yogurt run, study sesh in the library, or walk home from campus together) mid-week relatively soon after their date.

5. Then this will lead to date #2. Possibly a single date or another group date. If date number two goes well, more texting, library time, and movie watching is done... yada yada yada you know where I'm going with this.

These beginning stages are exactly the same every stinking time. I am the first person to say that I hate texting. Boys and girls lets just be adults and call one another! It is so much easier and there is no confusion ( just youtube "boys will be girls" and "boys will be girls: girls night out" and you'll know what I'm talking about- hilarious stuff). Boys let girls know what the plan is. Girls do not like surprise activities on dates! We need to plan our shoes accordingly yo.

So what if you want to get out of this five step process smoothly but the person is just not getting the message. You can't! The girl or guy who wants to escape will inevitably end up being a jerk trying to get out of it. Guys always tell me that they would appreciate a girl who would say to them "thanks but I'm just not interested" so that they don't keep wasting their time or money. But we all know that no one wants to hear "thanks but I'm not interested". haha My sweet mom makes me laugh so hard. She told me the other day that she once said that same sort of thing very kindly to a guy in college. And what did he do? He went home and told all of his roommates what a jerk she was and word spread like wildfire. She never told a guy she wasn't interested again.

So basically since hardly anyone says it like it is anymore. Here's how you tell if someone is not interested

- They let voicemail answer your phone calls.

- Don't respond to your texts until hrs later

- Keep saying no to dates without giving alternate times/days

- Avoid you in places where you usually see one another.

If someone likes you, they'll be all up in your facebook, texts, move their schedule around to make time for you, and seek you out to talk to you in a public setting.

If this ain't happinen then "it" ain't happinen.

Just tellin it like it is as always